Secret of Marriage : How do I know if I married the right person?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person"?

I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It Depends. Is that your husband?"

In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the Natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls Become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.

This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their Unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You Could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find "LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific Things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), There are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise Program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your Relationship
WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.


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The Fresh Fish Story

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish.But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades.So to feed the Japanese population,fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.
The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh. The Japanese did not like the taste.
To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price . So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin.
After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving.
They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference.
Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste.
The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish .

So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

Here is How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh:
To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks.
But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.
Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull,
So we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving?
Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and lively .....

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Good Corn

There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.

Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honour and prizes.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt something interesting about how he grew it.

The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field.

If my neighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.

If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."

The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves.

So it is in other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must help their neighbours and colleagues to be at peace,

Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches.

And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

If we are to grow good quality corn, we must help our neighbors grow good quality corn too....

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Facts You May Not Know

Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called "pygg". When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as "pygg banks." When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a bank that resembled a pig. And it caught on.

Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches, while pennies and nickels do not?

A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave..

Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?

A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

Q: Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?

A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous.

Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called "passing the buck"?

A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it w as to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility, he would "pass the buck" to the next player.

Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would then just touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be "in the limelight"?

A: Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and stage lighting by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, performers on stage "in the limelight" were seen by the audience to be the center of attention.

Q: Why do ships and aircraft in trouble use "mayday" as their call for help?

A: This comes from the French word m'aidez -meaning "help me" -- and is pronounced "mayday,"

Q: Why is someone who is feeling great "on cloud nine"?

A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares..

Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called "love! "?

A: In France , where tennis first became popular, a big, round zero on scoreboard looked like an egg and was called "l'oeuf," which is French for "egg.." When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans pronounced it "love."

Q: In golf, where did the term "Caddie" come from?

A: When Mary, later Queen of Scots, went to France as a young girl (for education & survival), Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scot game "golf." So he had the first golf course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into "caddie."

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Home Remdies For Neck Pain

Maybe you have a boss, or a brother-in-law, whom you describe as a pain in the neck. But when it comes to neck pain, the blame—as well as the pain—is probably resting on your shoulders.

"It's keeping your head in an awkward position—that is, pushed forward with your ears in front of your shoulders—for a long time that makes your neck hurt," says Joanne Griffin, senior physical therapist and inpatient headache treatment therapist at the New England Center for Headache at Greenwich Hospital in Connecticut. "That's what many people who have neck problems are doing."

Naturally, some people—because of their occupations—are more at risk than others. "Beauticians, for example, work in a bent-over position all day long," says Robert Kunkel, M.D., head of the Section of Headache in the Department of Internal Medicine at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

Regardless of your job or lifestyle, you can rid yourself of blame—and more importantly, pain—by applying a few time-tested methods, replacing bad habits with good ones, and giving your neck regular exercise. So keep your head up and your eyes open. Help is on the way.

Ice down. An ice pack or ice wrapped in a towel is a good choice when stiffness is just settling in, Griffin says. If your neck has been slightly injured, ice can help hold down swelling.

Heat up. After ice has reduced any inflammation, heat is a wonderful soother—be it from a heating pad or a hot shower.

Use a heat rub. These over-the-counter ointments are soothing but have no real healing effect because they don't really penetrate the skin's surface, says Steve Antonopulos, head athletic trainer for the Denver Broncos football team. Never use them with heating pads, he adds. At best they provide "psychological benefit."

Exercise Away Neck Pain

Yes, even your neck muscles need to be stretched and strengthened. Here are some exercises to combat stiffness and prevent problems in the future. Do each five times twice a day. Do the first three exercises for two weeks before starting the rest.

Slowly tilt your head forward as far as possible. Then move your head backward as far as possible.
Tilt your head toward your shoulder, while keeping your shoulder stationary. Straighten, then lean toward the other shoulder.
Slowly turn your head from side to side as far as possible.
Place your hand on one side of your head while you push toward it with your head. Hold for 5 seconds, then relax. Repeat three times. Then do the same exercise on the other side.
Do basically the same exercise as above, only provide slight resistance to the front of your head while you push your head forward. Then provide slight resistance to the back of your head while you push your head backward.
Hold light weights—say 3 to 5 pounds—in your hands while shrugging your shoulders. Keep your arms straight.

Take the old standby. Over-the-counter anti-inflammatories such as aspirin or ibuprofen will help reduce pain and inflammation. Take two pills three or four times a day.

Sit in a firm chair. Like the song says, the backbone is connected to the neck bone. And if you sit in a chair that doesn't give you good back support, you increase your chances of worsening existing neck problems and causing new ones, says Mitchell A. Price, D.C., a chiropractor in Temple, Pennsylvania.

Throw in the towel. Actually, roll a towel up and place it against the small of your back when sitting—it will better align your spine and give you additional support, says Griffin.

Take a break. Just as the feet need rest from constant standing, the neck needs a rest from constant sitting. Your head weighs approximately 8 pounds, Griffin says, and that's a lot of weight for the neck to support without much help from the rest of your body. So periodically stand up and walk around.

Keep your chin up. Keep your head level but pull your chin in as if you were making a double chin, says Griffin. Also avoid having your head lowered all the time when working at a desk or reading, she advises. This will prevent stressing the muscles in the back of the neck.

See eye to screen. If you work with a video display terminal all day, it's important to have it positioned at eye level. If you force yourself to look up or down hour after hour, you may cause your neck to spasm, says Price.

Reach out. And consider putting down the telephone. If you talk on the phone a lot, especially while trying to write, you've got your neck in an awkward position—an invitation to stiffness and pain.

Lift carefully. It's all too easy to forget there's a right way and a wrong way to lift heavy objects. The right way, says Price, is to bend your knees and hold your spine erect while positioning the object between your feet, which should be shoulder-width apart. When you lift the object, keep it as close to your body as possible.

Sleep on a firm mattress. A lot of neck problems begin, and worsen, with poor sleeping habits. Having a firm mattress is important, Price says.

Don't fight with your pillow. Just toss it aside. "A lot of people with neck pain feel better sleeping flat—without a pillow," Dr. Kunkel says.

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A Millionaire & Three Beggers

There was a good-natured millionaire in the town. Three beggars thought of approaching him for help. The first man went to the millionaire and said: "O Lord! I want five rupees. Please give me." The millionaire was taken aback at this man's impudence. "What! You demand five rupees from me as though I owe you the money! How dare you? How can I afford to give five rupees to a single beggar? Here, take these two rupees and get away," he said. The man went away with the two rupees.

The next beggar went to the millionaire and said: "Oh Lord! I have not taken a square meal for the past ten days. Please help me."
"How much do you want?" asked the millionaire.
"Whatever you give me, Maharaj," replied the beggar.
"Here, take this ten rupee note. You can have nice food for at least three days." The beggar walked away with the ten rupee note.

The third beggar came. "Oh Lord, I have heard about your noble qualities. Therefore, I have come to see you. Men of such charitable disposition are verily the manifestations of God on earth," he said.

"Please sit down," said the millionaire. "You appear to be tired. Please take this food," he said, and offered food to the beggar.
"Now please tell me what I can do for you."

"Oh Lord," replied the beggar; "I merely came to meet such a noble personage that you are. You have given me this rich food already. What more need I get from you? You have already shown extraordinary kindness towards me. May God bless you!"

But the millionaire, struck by the beggar's spirit, begged of the beggar to remain with him, built a decent house for him in his own compound, and looked after him for the rest of his life.

God is like this good millionaire. Three classes of people approach Him, with three different desires and prayers. There is the greedy man full of vanity, full of arrogance, full of desires. He demands the objects of worldly enjoyment from God. Since this man, whatever be his vile desires, has had the good sense to approach God, He grants him some part of the desired objects (even these very soon pass away, just as the two rupees the first beggar got are spent before nightfall).

The other type of devotee prays to the Lord for relief from the sufferings of the world, but is better than the first one, in as much as he is ready to abide by His Will. To him the Lord grants full relief from suffering, and bestows on him much wealth and property.

The third type he merely prays to the Lord: "O Lord, Thou art Existence-Absolute, Knowledge-Absolute, Bliss-Absolute, etc., etc." What does he want? Nothing. But the Lord is highly pleased with his spirit of renunciation, of desirelessness and of self-surrender. Therefore, He makes him eat His own food, i.e., He grants this man Supreme Devotion to Himself. Over and above this, He makes the devotee to live in His own House For ever afterwards this devotee dwells in the Lord's Abode as a Liberated Sage


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ATM Security Myth Busted

If someone force you to withdraw money from ATM, THEN......

If you are ever forced by a thief or someone to take money out of an ATM machine, enter your pin number reversed.

So if your number is 1254 mark 4521.

The ATM machine will give you your money, but will automatically recognize this as a plea for help and will alert the police unknown to the thief.

This option is in all ATM machines, but not many people know this.

This is false,

if you are ever forced to withdraw money from an ATM by a criminal, can you assist in the theif's capture by simply reversing your PIN? Probably not.

This is a case of rumor getting slightly ahead of reality. Yes, the technology to make this a reality does exist and at least one lawmaker is championing the cause to have such a system put into action. Illinois attorney Joseph Zingher got the idea when he was in law school and was using an ATM in a dangerous part of town. He patented his concept in 1998.

Zingher proposed that every ATM account come with two PINs - the standard code to confirm ownership of the account and another, dubbed the SafetyPIN or PanicPIN, that would allow cash to be withdrawn, but also notify law enforcement that a crime was taking place at the location of the ATM. The most likely source of this second PIN would be to reverse the first, however Zingher's plan allows for the card holder to specify any code as the SafetyPIN (which would get around the problem of PINs that are the same in reverse as they are forward).

Legislation calling for the institution of a SafetyPIN-type system has been introduced in Kansas and Illinois. The Kansas bill failed and the Illinois bill was so dilluted by bank industry lobbyists at passage that it made adoption optional. As of this writing, there is no other such legislation in the works and no banks or other financial institutions have implemented any such plan.

The bank industry has been very resistant to Zergher's plan. They argue that the average consumer may not have the clarity of mind in such a situation to successfully enter their alternate PIN and that efforts to do so might be seen by the criminal as resistance, thus increasing the risk of violence. They also contend that law enforcement would likely not be able to respond fast enough to catch the thief.

But the real reason behind the industry's reluctance may be much more straightforward. Implementation of the system would likely be expensive and the relatively low incidence of ATM crime just doesn't justify the cost. Many industry experts hint that they have their own solution in the works, but offer no details.

Until the better mousetrap can be built, we have to keep our defenses up. Always be alert of your surroundings when using an ATM and look for machines in well-lit, high traffic areas. If anyone approaches you, especially with a deadly weapon, and orders you to withdraw cash, law enforcement experts advise to give the crook exactly what he wants, then notify officials as soon as possible after the incident.

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