Monday, September 28, 2015

Your Opinion vs Other's Opinion

A teacher held a book in her hand and asked the 12th grade students what the colour of the book was. They replied in chorus,"black!".
The teacher exclaimed it was red. The students said that she was wrong and that the book was black. At this, the teacher turned the book the other way and it was red!
She then said,"put forth your opinion but don't say the other person is wrong before you've seen things from their perspective".

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Loss of Memory

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"

 "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it has made a big difference for me."

"That's great! What was the name of that clinic?"

Fred went blank. He thought and thought but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that flower with the long stem and thorns?"

"You mean a rose?" 

"Yes, that's it!" Then he turned to his wife and asked, "Rose, what was the name of that clinic?

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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Joe's Dilemma

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store & thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again, Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Presence Of Mind

In the movie ‘The Schindler’s list’, a chicken goes missing in the ghetto. Hearing about this, the infamous Nazi Officer Amon Goeth gathers Jewish prisoners. He raises his rifle and demands the culprit to step forward. When no one does, he takes aim and shoots one of the Jews in the head. Then he shouts again for the thief to step forward. Still, no one comes forward. When he raises his rifle to shoot again, a boy steps forward shivering. Goeth walks to the boy and asks him if he stole the chicken. The boy stammers he didn’t, but he knows who did. Goeth smiles widely. The boy looks up and shouts “HIM” pointing to the bleeding corpse… 

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